Oh, the Waiting


Oh, the Waiting #adoption #orphancare

 Well they say that absence makes

The heart grow fonder every day

Sweet child, it’s true

In every way

.

So I will hold you in my heart

While I can’t hold you in my arms

Oh, the waiting

It’s so hard

 .

When you look up at the moon

Just remember that I’m looking too

Oh, the longing

If you only knew

I keep finding things ’round here

That remind me of our time with you

Oh, the memories

They bring fresh tears

 .

I can hear your clear sweet voice

Your “good morning”, ‘”night” and “love you too”

Oh, the joy

That you bring

 .

So tonight I’m sending love

And hugs and kisses and a prayer to you

O my Dearest

You’ll be home soon

.

Missing our sweet little one in Ukraine tonight,  Justina Dee

The Deep Well of a Mother’s Love {A glimpse into the life of an adoptive family}

Mother and her family

 

“No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother’s love.  It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star.” ~Edwin Hubbell Chapin

(Is there someone from your childhood whom you haven’t seen for a very long time, but your heart still glows with love every time you think of them? My daughter, niece and I visited one of those people this weekend, and her life experiences over these past years is too beautiful and inspiring to keep to myself. On Friday afternoon we took a little road-trip under the hot Texas sun, through a few beautiful little towns, down a country road, up a long gravel lane, and finally arrived at our destination. We parked by the fenced pasture and were greeted by the family dogs.)

As we made our way to the house, the front door opened, and out walked one of the most beautiful families I’ve ever seen. First came my childhood friend (now a mother), followed by twelve of her and her husband’s thirteen children.

We embraced, then my eyes brimmed with tears at what followed. My friend’s intense love for each child was evident on her face (and even in her mannerisms and gestures) as she introduced me to every one of her blessings. Eight biological and five adoptive children (from Cambodia, Guatemala and Ukraine.) With each introduction of her precious ones, I was given another glimpse of their mother’s deep, deep love for them.

We sat down around the table in the farm-style kitchen and enjoyed a scrumptious family style meal, followed by a three-layered cake lovingly and beautifully baked by two of the girls. Sharing time with this family was an extraordinary experience. I sat across from a long bench of beautiful little ones, who sat in front of a large window through which you could see the great outdoors. The respect and courtesy these children demonstrated to us their guests, as well as to each other was a complete delight to behold (and experience).

Dinner was full of reminisce, stories and laughter. Love emanated from my friend and in turn, from each of her children. As the matter of fact, there is no denying the fact that this home is built on the strong and firm foundation of God’s love, as every square inch is filled with its grace and beauty. The picture of these children together, in their little corner of the world is such a picture of redemption that I have no words to describe it. What can one woman do to change the world? I need look no further than my friend’s kitchen table in Texas. The respect, admiration and adoration these children have for their mother is precious to behold. After all, she is a picture of Jesus to them.

Playground

After supper, everyone helped clean the kitchen, and we headed outside where twilight was just setting in. The children played, (all the older ones helping the littles), while us mommies caught up on the years that have passed by. It’s hard to believe there were fourteen children (including the two I contributed to the group) playing around us, they were so well-mannered. Such kindness and joy flowed from every member of this family! My daughter and niece had an amazing time playing, meeting the children’s animals, and then riding horseback.

Family Playground 2

As dusk set in, we took all took a walk together. It was magical. My friend shared the stories of each of her children. All I could think of is how DEEP this mother’s love is! It is like a well. Because her love is an extension of GOD’s love, it never runs dry.

Country WalkWalking along their country lane, we shared the joys and heartaches, the mountaintops and the valleys of our mothering experiences. I heard how one of her daughters was found at the orphanage doorstep, wrapped in rags. She told me about the unlikely path (full of intense sadness and ultimate joy) which led to the homecoming of two sisters from Ukraine. We talked about babies being born after their due-date. We shared struggles, current battles and the reality of living a life that looks different from those expectations we had as young women what seems so long ago.

My beautiful friend

I didn’t want this evening to end. We finished our visit with some time around the piano. (Which my friend’s children can play, as well as the violin!) As we sang “Amazing Grace” together, and the children’s clear, sweet voices rose up around me at the piano bench, I was completely overcome with emotion. These little ones understood these words far better than most of us could ever begin to do.

“Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come;

‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far

And grace will lead me HOME” ~ John Newton

Amazing Grace

Incredibly inspired. Massively challenged. And undeniably encouraged am I, by this dear woman’s deep well of Love. May we all die to self. Live to love others, and make an eternal difference in our world in such a way as this.

~ Justina Dee 

A Journey of Beautiful Survival {a tribute to my mama}

Grandmama and my daughter, her namesake.

My mother and daughter, before Mama was diagnosed with cancer. (At my parent’s lovely home, overlooking the PA farmland).

I’ll always remember the day I got the phone call that my beautiful mama was unconscious, and headed to the hospital. How could it be?! She was the picture of health, and a pillar in her family. The reality of her lying helpless in a hospital bed was an unthinkable truth. One minute she was going about business as usual; full of life. And in an instant, her world as she knew it, came to a screeching halt.

In the hospital - Mama looking beautiful as ever, right before her surgery. (You'd never guess she's wearing a hospital gown!).

In the hospital – Mama looking beautiful as ever, right before her surgery. (You’d never guess she’s wearing a hospital gown!).

This weekend marks the two year anniversary of my mother’s admittance to the hospital where after many weeks, many tests, and a brain biopsy later, doctors discovered she had an inoperable, cancerous, brain tumor on the left frontal lobe. We treasured every moment at the hospital with our sweet Mama.

Mama (after her biopsy), with her two youngest sons

Mama (after her biopsy), with her two youngest sons

Mama with the boys

Mama with the boys

Holding one of her precious granddaughters, during the hospital stay.

Holding one of her precious granddaughters, during the hospital stay.

Daddy and Mama with some of the beautiful flowers family and friends sent to the hospital.

Daddy and Mama with some of the beautiful flowers family and friends sent to the hospital.

Over the past two years mother has battled cancer in the most resplendent manner. Her strength of character through an incredibly formidable season of life is truly inspiring. She has been offered every opportunity to lay down and give up; to surrender to the darkness. But she has done quite the opposite. She continues to live, love, dream and hope.

Leaving the hospital!

Leaving the hospital!

My daughter & Grandmama visiting the ACS for a wig fitting, after Mama’s surgery and radiation took her hair.

You see, the building of my mother’s character began long before January, 2011. Because of her deep rooted faith, her identity is not in her diagnosis, but in the story her heavenly Father has planned for her life – which (in all the years I’ve been alive and witnessed it) has been a journey of seeking, knowing, serving and loving her Maker.

SONY DSC

Mama, as a first grader

Mama was born into an Amish family, and raised on a picturesque farm in Lancaster County, PA. She lived a delightful childhood and never lacked for anything. But despite her life’s quaint and captivating appearance, it was marred with difficulty and suffering. I can see that the hardships she endured (and how she witnessed my grandparents walking through their painful experiences with in deep faith), prepared her for life ahead.

The Farmhouse where my mother grew up with her family

The farmhouse where my mother grew up with her family

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Daddy and Mama as a young married couple

My parents were married in 1974. Their marriage is a portrait of true, sacrificial love and devotion. In 1981, they moved to Texas with 4 small children, and started a family homestead which they built from the ground up. We spent 13 years there, and I witnessed my parents nuture relationships and community with people from all walks of life, as they lovingly and carefully raised and homeschooled us children.

Family Pic

Family Photo in the mid ’80’s

Growing up with my mother was an experience for which I’m eternally grateful. She is the true renaissance woman. As a child I believed she could do nearly ANYTHING, and do it well. As an adult, my opinion hasn’t changed! She has a God-given ability to see and draw out the beauty in everything she touches, and anyone she knows. From our little home built by my Daddy on the landscape of Texas pastureland long ago, to banquets for the worlds VIP’s (after her children were grown), her touches of artistry and outstanding gift of hospitality never fail to leave the world a better place.

Tea Party at Grandmama's house.

Tea Party at Grandmama’s house.

Mama is a lover of Jesus, her husband and family, and anyone around her, and a worshiper of God, in every facet of her life. She is a reader, a dreamer, a goal-setter. She is an artist, a designer and a florist. She is a gardener, a keeper of the lost arts and a farmer. She is a songbird, a lover of poetry, and a history-buff. She is homemaker extraordinaire and a business woman. She is a health connoisseur. She is a leader, a teacher, a model wife, and a most excellent mother. She is a woman who passionately LIVES what she believes, and doesn’t just talk about it.

One of the things I am most grateful for, is my mother’s pioneering spirit in the arena of homeschooling. My parents chose to educate us at home before they even knew such a concept existed. What a gift they gave us!

One of my favorite photos of Mama, with her foster son Terry.

One of my favorite photos of Mama, with her foster son Terry.

My mother and father have walked through the past two years with strength and fortitude that can only come through faith, and I know their story has many more wondrous chapters that remain to be played out. This quote perfectly sums up the way they live each day:

“Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all.”~ Elisabeth Elliot

Survivor Photo Shoot, by Dajay Art Photography

Survivor Photo Shoot, by Dajay Art Photography

In addition to the steadfastness and love displayed by my parents, one of the most treasured things to witness has been the outpouring of love from people all around our family, from all across the country, and all walks of life. Cancer brings with it a complete disruption of normal routines, and our lovely family and friends have been beside my parents, their children and grandchildren every single step of the way.

A family luncheon at cousin Rachel's house

A family luncheon at cousin Rachel’s house

Delicious meals, car rides, open hearts and homes, cards, letters, notes, flowers, gifts, words of experience and encouragement, plane tickets, childcare and most importantly, prayers. Words cannot begin to express our family’s deep gratitude.

Mama and Daddy several years ago, with their six children and 10 of their now sixteen grandchildren.

Mama and Daddy several years ago, with their six children and 10 of their (now sixteen) grandchildren.

In closing; Mama, I call you blessed! You are the kind of mother that books are written about. You are my friend, my teacher and my hero. The fruits of the Spirit are evident in every arena of your life. I want to be like you when I grow up! May God continue to guide you and carry you in every moment of your beautiful journey. May you “…be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Forever grateful to God for my mother, ~ Justina Dee

“Survivor Photo” by DaJay Art Photography

Scripture Reference: Psalm 1:2-4, KJV